I don't know if most of you know this, but I have always been very fond of the style and content of Puritan grave stones. They have various repeating icons, Sometimes a tree of life often represented by the weeping willow. Other stones feature a skull with wings, what I refer to as the Puritan death angel, seen here.Now you could be thinking how macabre this is, and you would be right I suppose. The whole point of the Puritan grave marker, which is often revealed through their texts (not in the case illustrated) is to remind the living that death will come to all as it did to the body beneath the stone.I don't have any of my books on the subject to hand, but suffice it to say they were often of the "your turn is next" variety, then going on to encourage the reader to consider the shortness of days and seek to secure eternal life while they have breath. I shall try and post a few when I am able...
All of this to say, prayers continue to be appreciated. I am "losing iron" again. I had a break of 6 glorious days, which though filled with feeling weak and heart racings were at least a pause in the cause of my anemia. If I have my way I shan't be euphemistic on my tombstone, but while I'm alive you'll have to read between the lines so I don't distress the occasional male reader with overly particular details of the curse.
Sistern and Brethren, I don't feel like I have anything left to lose blood wise. Will call the lady Dr. if I can to ask yet again, is there anything they can give if this gets desperate, to buy me time to investigate options? I have found no way to get Cyklokapron in Idaho and haven't the strength to travel to Canada or Scotland for more. I do rejoice that the blood of Christ is my all and that this life is only a wee bit of reality...I feel utterly devoid of any ability to wax eloquent about the glories of Christ because not only is my brain fuzzy but every aspect seems dull...the heart still seeks to have sweet fellowship with the Lord in prayer and in resting in him...I just don't know how to say that in a way that doesn't sound like a disclaimer or like I think I've got one foot in the grave...
2 comments:
Your eloquent words to me, are softening to the brash truth of life.
I'm not able to describe how I feel quite as well as you, but know this:
You are not alone in your agony, and though your trial is your own, I think it fair to say your feelings, even though particular to each person, are shared by many. I think each of us in our own yearn to be with Christ in his victorious kingdom, to be rid of our own sin, in whatever manner God has ordained us to fight it.
Some fight the curse in manners more unpleasant than others, some physically, some mentally. All in all, we share the kingdom of heaven, which has been bought for us through His redeeming blood.
I will pray for you. I hope it is not ludicrous to say your words, even though they may have seemed distraught to some, encouraged me.
Hi susan, sorry your not feeling well. been thinking about you, been trying to get hold of you. and then i couldnt figure out the email thing. will keep you in my prayers...btw. i love your blog. glad he told me about it.. take care!!Lorrie/CO
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