Belated Update

Please forgive me for taking so long to get an update here. I just have not felt enough energy to post. I realise now that I should have had someone at least go on the comments section and post an update for me. As it is I've been writing this for days, what normally would take me an hour tops, and likely it makes little sense.

The below could sound like "whining" or as the Brits say whinging (though I read now upon checking the spelling that the latter actually is whining without doing anything about the problem, since I am doing everything I have been told to do or can think of, it wouldn't actually fit, but I digress as is my custom.)

Let me say that I am grateful to be alive and for each mercy I have known these past weeks, that of a patient husband, kind friends who inquire as to my health, two reasonably untraumatic drs visits and so on. I am thankful that the holy spirit has pressed upon me and upon other's the need to pray. I tell the details below only in response to inquiries I or the dear husband have had regarding "what has the doctor said" etc..

I saw a woman Dr. this past week. She did as thorough an exam as she could do without additional tests. She said that while what I am experiencing is within the realm of possibilities at this time of life, if it continues beyond a month or two, or gets worse etc, the next step will need to be various tests of a more invasive nature. I will have to continue to have blood levels monitored to be sure the anemia does not get worse, my ferritin level which indicates how much iron remains stored for use is 5 (which is considered an indication of severely depleted iron stores) and my total iron binding capacity is 11 (should be 30 at least) though the hematacrit and hemeglobin levels point to moderate anemia. It is likely I have been anemic longer than the acute blood loss indicates.

The "cause" of my blood loss has finally ceased after 20 days and I have no idea when it will begin again.I clearly haven't much room to lose more. Please pray I can obtain meds which I was on in the UK which will cut bleeding in half volume wise or that I shan't have any bleeding for a good while. Full recovery from an anemic state is said to take at least 6 weeks if not several months (though a dear friend said with iron I could start feeling better in 2-3.)

I am still experimenting with what regimine of iron is tolerable and there are all sorts of things that interfere with getting optimal uptake so I feel like I have to chart out when to take what and when to eat what. There is a posh new prescription iron pill out but it is very large. The pharmacist said I could crush it. I did, it tastes worse than all my childhood cough syrup experiences put together, so bad that chasers only magnify the taste, I had to chew strong gum for about 3 mins to get the flavor to end, perhaps this is the place for "Curiously strong Altoids?"

Part of me says small price to pay, part of me says, there is no way with it being that nasty that I will be likely to stay with it, the flesh being what it is, particularly if I could find an equally good tab that is easier to swallow. I have been lured by the drug's little video on their website to think that they have something unique in their product as it has been shown to be better tolerated and absorbed and so on. I asked the pharmacist what other iron he knew of that would perhaps be easier to swallow and he suggested one. The lady Dr. gave me 12 days of samples of the "new" iron but will prescribe something else as needed.

I was surprised to find myself with crashing fatigue later in the week, the kind where a nap at 7pm doesn't seem out of the question and that after a full nights sleep and perhaps another nap in between. Sleep is, praise God, reasonably good of late though not particularly restorative I suppose because what I really "need" is iron. Some days I feel rather weak and shakey, and find showering to be exhausting. If I feel this bad with anemia how poorly must friends with cancer or chronic illness feel? I don't think I should feel this worn out.

I am seemingly trying to eat the whole population of Idaho's cows, and dh is fixing them for me. I can now rattle off what cereals have the most iron fortification in them and the iron levels of several foods. I also know about the types of iron and what interferes with them being absorbed. I am also taking healthy doses of B1,B6 and B12 as well as vitamin A. I have read that I should perhaps be having E and zinc as well to help iron absorbtion/utilization. I also take Shepherd's purse and Chasteberry tinctures as well as uterine tonics such as Rasberry leaf tea. Who knows if any of it is helping. This has been the biggest lesson I have ever had in the means God has ordained for our body to run nutritionally. I was surely several days late and dollars short when I started losing iron.

At the end of the day dear friends, I may well be headed toward the hysterectomy I desire to avoid if possible. One dear friend, well versed in anemia, who knows me well, assured me that if and when that time comes, I'm going to know. Likely I'll be begging them to do it.

That said given the frustration level I've had of late with my GP's office who seem to want to wash their hands of me (could just be me being extra sensitive due to feeling poorly) , I wonder if I would find any more enthusiastic care from the surgeon's or Gyn's who would do a hysterectomy? Dr. Susan Love, a surgeon herself, refers to the Hyster as the "ultimate breaking and entering" so I can only imagine that a disinterested dr. would add insult to injury. You'd think if you are going the path that seems to be so enthusiastically embraced by others as my cure, they'd at least have some bells and whistles going? I expect a hysterectomy costs at least half of a new car, could they try half as hard as the new car folk to win the customer? I suppose I should be thankful that I've not found anyone who is just oh so kind and helpful and wants my best and will "hold my hand" through surgical intervention and after or I might have signed up already just to have the old paternalistic care I so usually eshew, because it feels nicer than the "figure it out yourself and preferably at another office"options I've been presented this far.

The lady dr. did not feel the above way to me, she just doesn't feel familiar, the way a doctor one has seen for years would feel. She is fairly busy and is exceedingly young so I've yet to find that sense of having someone who will manage my overall health. It feels like the left and right hands are different entities all together (Gp and Gyn), which they likely are not even practicing in the same hospital. I've always preferred to do as much reading and understanding of what is going on medically and in understanding the options available, I just never realised how it would feel when that is all one has available, even when a physician is consulted. I have a friend who is an insider in the local world o'medicine and even then, it seems hardly to be a rosy path.

At the end of the day, I suppose it is just as well that there is frustration with the ways of man and "his" and my limitations because it leaves me back where I always hope to start, which is the knowledge that God knows what will happen in this case, in all cases, and that he can and will undertake for me as he see's fit. I know that when I lie awake praying, or feel tearful or frustrated as to what to do next, that casting myself upon the Lord, is a sure thing, is a certain right step, and will never be in vain.